It’s Not Other People’s Money – it’s Yours

[The following is a piece did as a guest writter for www.gogirlfinance, terrific site that helps women gain confidence ind dealing with money)

“I think you should try it just once,” my then-fiancee/now-husband said. “It will be slow going at first, but you are going to like it.”

“Okay,” I agreed reluctantly. “But only because you are so into it.”

It was a few months before our wedding. We had moved past china patterns and were on to merging bank accounts and coordinating spending. We were in agreement that it should happen when he suggested we track information via a computer-based personal finance program.

Clearly, Jonathan knew what he was doing. Quicken can become an addiction for a Type-A personality like me. To this day, I methodically (okay, obsessively) enter all our income and expense information into the program, and review it on a regular basis. Want to know what we spend each month on clothing? Groceries? Babysitting? I can give you a fairly good estimate off the top of my head, but if you need an exact number, give me 20 minutes in front of my computer and I will produce a color-coded report.

While we both have MBAs and demanding jobs, the responsibility of our day-to-day accounting has fallen to me, but I am not complaining. I spend a couple hours every few weeks entering information and paying bills. Every six months or so, I create—well, actually, Quicken creates—a chart that shows spending and income by category and my husband and I review it.

There are several programs, some of which are free, that can manage household finances. Despite the availability of these tools and their relative ease of use, I am amazed at how many women have little knowledge about their family finances. Women who, until they were married or had children, not only managed their own finances, but were lawyers, bankers, teachers, consultants, retail buyers, editors, event planners, etc. Some of them still work outside the home. Now, they don’t know their household income, the cost of their housing, what their family spends on groceries, clothing, utilities, etc. Ask them how many bank accounts they have, what’s in their IRA or 401K, if they have adequate life insurance, or college savings for their kids and they smile and just shrug. “My husband takes care of it; I am sure we are fine.”

Are you? You sign your name on your tax return (please don’t tell me your husband forges your signature), do you know you are legally responsible for what’s written? Ignorance is not bliss. Consider a few frightening scenarios: you are chasing down bank accounts while your soon-to-be ex is chasing his former secretary down the beach in the Caymans. Or it’s a few days after the funeral and you don’t know if you can afford to stay in your home and send your kids to the same school next year.

True, these are disasters that are not likely to happen. But, you still need to know what is going on. If you don’t know where it’s coming from and where it is going, you are missing an opportunity to have an equal say in your family’s future. You are also ceding control of a critical aspect of your life. And, if you have children—girls or boys–you are setting a pretty poor example for them.

Take the time to know what is happening in your life financially. Even if you are not the one paying the bills and making the deposits, you need have an understanding of your finances. If you are not comfortable using a software program like Quicken or Mint, ask someone to explain it to you. Set aside time each month to review paycheck stubs, bank statements and bills. Know where your accounts are and how much is in each one. If you need outside assistance, find a planner or banker with whom you are comfortable. There are several banks that have divisions geared just to women who can. Your life and that of your family could depend on it.